Ace of Spaces uses the “Demorcrats” in this delightful post, but I find party labels unhelpful. There’s not a dime’s worth of difference between a Democrat and a Republican inside the Beltway. Just mentally substitute the word “Liberal” and the following makes sense.
Top Ten Ways
DemocratsLiberals Can Re-“Appropriate” July Fourth
(A couple of these blatantly stolen from commenters or Guy.)
10. Include a disclaimer on celebration notices warning that displays of patriotism might endanger children’s welfare.
9. Have the EPA require that celebrations use only fireworks that are environmentally friendly and greenhouse gas neutral.
8. Include a ritual apology to Great Britain after all readings of the Declaration of Independence.
7. Have the National Endowment for the Arts fund naked interpretive dance troupes at July Fourth parades. Also, drum circles.
6. Burn slave-owning Founders in effigy.
5. Have the NLRB require that all parade volunteers be unionized.
4. Serve soy chai lattes at July Fourth parades.
3. A free bong hits booth at every parade.
2. Require that children have a permission slip to attend signed by . . . their school principal.
And the Number 1 way that
DemocratsLiberal could re-appropriate the Fourth of July is
1. Actually love their country and talk about it without always saying “I love America, but [issue probably having to do with their relationship with their fathers].”
And I cheerfully expropriated the whole thing from Ace of Spades! As he said, “Effing Libturds.” (Or something to that effect. )